..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
