He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
