Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
accomplished twins. life is a go
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
