I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
