Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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