i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
