we have officially lost it.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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