what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
