when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
