I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
