i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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