so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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