he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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