It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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