i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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