Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Farmville is her only friend.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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