Whod you bang
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
