Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

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(618): View more from Illinois

he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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(817): View more from Texas

he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

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(917): View more from New York City

i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Did you at least know who's jizz it was?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

That is questionable.

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