Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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