She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
we should paint friendship bongs
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