She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sext me about skeletons
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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