I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
