i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I enjoy the company of your penis
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
