So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
