how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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