TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i drank out of a bidet.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
