is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
