just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
