A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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