he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
