We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
