Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
