So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
