I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
