Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
nutella sex= disaster
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
