it hurts more in the daytime
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
