I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
