I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
