Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
