How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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