everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
