I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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