btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
