OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
