i think my mom watched the whole time
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
