They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
