Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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