this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
