Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
