You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
